Friday 23 December 2011

Somewhere I Belong


When this began,
I had nothing to say,
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me,
I was confused,
And I let it all out to find,
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind,
Inside of me,
But all that they can see the words revealed,
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel,
Nothing to lose,
Just stuck, hollow and alone,
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own,

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real,
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long,
Erase all the pain till it's gone,
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real,
I wanna find something I've wanted all along,
Somewhere I belong,

And I've got nothing to say,
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face,
I was confused,
Looking everywhere only to find,
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind,
So what am I,
What do I have but negativity,
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me,
Nothing to lose,
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone,
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own,

I will never know myself until I do this on my own,
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed,
I will never be anything till I break away from me,
I will break away, I'll find myself today,

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong,
Somewhere I belong

Thanks

Tuesday 13 December 2011

The Farewell

What does it feel like when I'm gone? What would happen to my friends back home? What, what would happen to me?

No, it's nothing. It all started when I was on my bed, wondering, what would happen if I migrate somewhere? Yes, I know this was a similar story before. I apologize about that old story, it wasn't my fault but it got cancelled by some reason. This time, it's more of a possibility. I can't really say if this is 100% true or what but if it is, I'm sorry. That's all I could say.

Just know that deep inside, I'm sad about this. I would never want to leave my friends behind.

Marshall Mathers once said


And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn, Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain,Just smile back
So smile and I'll smile back. And don't worry about me, I'll be fine

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Haters Gonna Hate

It wasn't my fault. I don't mind. All I know was I did my bloody best, and then we had a mutual agreement. Nothing much. And now, you're hating me for what I did to her? Yeah, smart move. Okay, go ahead hate me all you want. Think whatever you want. She forgave me, dammit. I forgave her a long time ago. We're friends now. There's no meat between us so could you just please stop being the thorn stuck in my life. It hurts to know that some one hates you, you know. And I hate that. So, please? We didn't do wrong. I didn't do wrong.

Up to you

Saturday 3 December 2011

SSA



Yeah, that's my next target. I'm joining that club, for real. It's my passion, my love. Shooting, yeah. And have you ever heard of the M82 Barrett? I'm sure I've posted one of those hotties here. Gotta love that lovely rifle.

When that thing is in my hands. Something is bound to get destroyed

Btw, SSA means Selangor Shooting Association. Just wish me luck for anyting that would happen. 

Sunday 27 November 2011

Battlefield!

27th of November. The day started of with my daily Subuh prayer after mom woke me up. And then continued to sleep for a while. Then, mommy woke me up at 8 and got ready with myself and my spare clothes and got breakfast. Breakfast wasn't much as I was bloody anxious of the battlefield. Yeah, the battlefield.

And then I travelled to the Megat's residency. As I arrived I saw Khan Hamidy and Megat Nasir playing co-op on UC3. And yeah, it's been a quite long time since I've seen Khan. So, we were there waiting for Redzuan perhaps. After all has been set, we're good to go and we go! Mid journey, there was this douche, almost hit the front bumper and when we honked, he was pissed. WTF man?

Arriving at Mid Valley, we headed off to Galactic Laser, the place for the game. Well, we just hang around and Nasir dragged us up for a not-so-aerial view of the dark, gruesome playground. Lol, overness. And then we were waiting for Faiq, he was walking from KK. It took him long =P No offence yeah brother? After a rendezvous with him. We entered the place. Paid RM50 and got myself into my spare which is the Barca jersey and yeah Redzuan had the urge to 'melee' me in the warzone. Heck, it knew it was intense so I knew it was going to be wet. Not that kinda wet though.
The A-Team
From left: Nasir, Redzuan, Khan, Faiq
Briefing was done and first round was a Free-For-All match and I was damned like shit. What? It was my first time right? First round goes like this, I was trying out the laser gun thingy a.k.a phaser, I guess. Seems nice as I'm used to guns and war, in games only mind you. I got the aiming part down. And I believed that reaction time had alot to do with my survival. First round starts! I ran up to corners hiding from sight, shooting people who were oblivious to my presence behind them. "Rapid Fire", the gun exclaimed, signifying I achieved a killstreak of three. And yes, it didn't last as long I as I expected but yeah I love it. And the best part in the first match was I get to pwn a camper! Yeah, effing camper! He was like "Damn you!" and I replied "Fucking camper!". And there were more. Next we check the scores and I was deemed 4th. Hey, that's not bad for a n00b is it? And we took our rest for a while.

Second round was a Team Deathmatch match. We were Red team. Feels like BF3! Entering the arena and we chose to cover one spot as it increased our chance of survival, and prevailing perhaps. And when the round started, we got off to a very sweet start. Yeah, no offence but those guys weren't much of a challenge this round as they intruded our territory one-by-one. We just shoot that's all. It all was good until they raided our position. We had to split and there was my, and our, downfall. I got cornered on the top floor, by a girl. Such humiliation. After the round ended, we were still the first team. Yeah, we own.

Third team was a Squad Deathmatch as we were divided into three teams. We were Blue and we were perfectly grouped, no other stranger were there. Again, we entered the warzone, chose our spot and then there were kids ruining our surprise factor. We were quite hidden from plain sight. No, we aren't ninjas, just we took cover. Match starts! And we dittoed the last match's strategy. We did quite well until there were campers on the top floor and chasers. FYI, chasing is forbidden. NOOBS! Nothing much to say about this round. Except that this was the WORST round out of the three.


The worthy opponents

Post-match Drake

Tired Faiq

The Champ!

The Epic Team
All in all, Laser Tag was damn fun. Quite the addiction.

The New Addiction

Nothing new in life? Hell no! I got the best thing on Earth ever, since slice bread, no, even precise since Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. Here, the awesome masterpiece!


Current Wallpaper =)


I was surprised this was on my bed

Better this than women on my bed =P

Drake! We love you!


Thursday 24 November 2011

All Men Dream, But Not Equally

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. "
T.E. Lawrence 

Yes, it's undeniable that we all dream. But we are the 'night dreamers', we never stood up to our challenge. Yeah, it's a fact. So what's with all this? Well, it's the calm before the storm, the light before the darkness, the peace before the war. Yes, the examination, SPM, is less than a year for me, for 0812. And I solemnly swear that this will be the epic ending. And I will be that 'dreamers of the day'. I will bring the achievement to my self and my family. And I will stand among the standers. And I won't fall!

Thank you Nathan Drake for teaching me values I've never come to notice in this life. You are one of the awesome-est person I've ever knew.

....

Wednesday 23 November 2011

A quiet prayer

Ya Allah,
Truly, I've been a bad boy this year,
And truly, I've tried my best to be a good boy but  failed,
I failed papers, I broke rules, I did the did-nots,
But Allah the Most Gracious, the one thing I really regret this year is,
Breaking 'her' heart,

Ya Allah,
I still want to be friends with her,
So, please forgive me,
Please forgive her,
Please find her a better person than me,
Please take care of her heart,
Please lighten her burden,
Please don't make the others pressure her bad,
I never meant for this, Ya Allah,
Even now, I still care for her, Ya Allah,
And lastly please forgive my sins against her,

Ya Allah,
I'm just one of your weak persons,
So, Ya Rabbi, I hope this prayer is heard out

Ya Mukalibul Qulub Sabith Qalbi, 
Wa'aladhinika, 
Wa'alatho'atika, 
Subahanakainikuntum 

Amin, Amin, Ya Rabbal Alamin.


Friday 18 November 2011

Shooter!



I've always wanted to inflict massive damage from afar. So, tell me, is it possible to kill someone from a mile?

M82 Barrett.

It looks so deadly. I love it BUT I can't have it lah kan? Military standards. So, would I join the army for this? Nah, not really. Think I should join the marksman sports?

Monday 7 November 2011

Those Ears?

After listening with some crappy earphones, I decided to buy temporary earphones just for the sake of listening songs with better sound quality. But it got boring after a tad while and those temporaries lost its shine in quality. In short, it doesn't satisfy. So, a visit to a local computer store reminded me of something. Yeah, there was wireless mice, anti-virus products, some gaming laptop (not a single damn was given that day), and there was Logitech. Yeah, Logitech, tons of gaming and computing goods. And there was it, I saw my dream baby. There it was, glimmering in its obsidian box. The Ultimate Ears 200! And then it hit me, I got no cash. But then suddenly my dad said "Take it if you want it" and then I was like, on cloud 10.

UE 200-Gallery Lg1 750x239
Really awesome IEMs
These in-ear monitors (IEM) are really worth the bang for the buck. More perhaps. Quite a recommendation to buy these. No regrets.

Till then.

Sunday 6 November 2011

A Subtle Reminder

After all those times with everything, I realized that it was all a feint story in my life until something came crashing into me. That something was quite a big smack in the face which made me see what's life all about.

Life is all about what we did, are doing and will be doing. What we did in the past was something quite irrelevant to our current self but it was acutally the very seed that created us in the first place. The past was actually important in our experience building process. So don't worry if you failed as failing is a big process in learning. We learn from our mistakes right? And then comes the present. This is where we are now. Often took for granted, the present is the time we should stand up for le futura. Hehs, I'm struggling with the present but that's me, alot with struggles, so worry not fellow friends. And there's the future where awesome crap are invented and stuff. And there is where our epitome of life is, the very moment where we are on our ace high performance. But all this won't happen with our ups and downs in life. And to be honest, this year has been the best obstacle in my life so far, testing me from every aspect but especially on the emotion factor. And it quite hurts to be tested that way but it's the harsh preparation for life so yeah. By the way, Stay Tough Forever. I learned that from a fellow friend from the land of the South.

Thanks for everything friends and family. You're the best ever.

Saturday 24 September 2011

Like a Boss!



It's been a while since this blog was updated. Probably dusty by now and I'm alergic to dust *achoo!

I got new friends form Sekolah Tun Fatimah, JB. You girls are damn awesome! Before any scandal conspiracy story comes up, let me tell you the exact reason for me having a stay there. It simply because of the Fully Residential School's International Symposium that was held on 9th-14th Sept. If you ask me the definition of cool, that event settles you question nuff said. 

Well, after all that event, then comes tons of homework and crap. Isn't that just plain awesome? To be honest, I don't know what to type so here I go, rambling randomly on STF and friends. And to see how awesome I am *coughthisissovaincough* here is a 'boss' pic of me


There we go! I told you I looked rad! Oh yeah, I will be posting more posts soon enough so just hope I don't fall into another hiatus again guys =)

Saturday 17 September 2011

I've had my repentance for all those things I've done. I've put my thought in it and I've seen my mistakes. I know I've made you more than mad. I maybe the worst boyfriend you've ever had but please, I don't want this to end this way. Yes, memang I was the wrong person. But I didn't do it on purpose. Sayang, 'bumi mana tidak ditimpa hujan?' I sincerely love you and this isn't a joke.

Okay fine, I just want you to take your time now, and loosen up. I'll be open so just tell me whatever you want, and I x kan marah. Never. Before anything, I'm sorry again.

Saturday 13 August 2011

The War

Berjuang demi Tiberium!

Thursday 9 June 2011

I'm off to Koleq. Synonymously, I'm off to hell guys.

To those I care, take care. I don't want to hear you hurt. I'll be back later. I'll be better.

The State of Mind! Again?!


Train wreck. That explains me quite accurately. I'm not sure what, but my mind is what explains all these. Let's unravel some of the problems I face, in point form better :-


  • Add Maths, damn hard!
  • Friends, some of them won't even help
  • Teachers, or 'hellraisers' to be precise
  • The 'New' Rules, the schools "improved" rules
  • End-year exam, what am I gonna crap again this time
  • Some undone HW, quite a reason
  • Koleq's future, with everything already happened, it's just hell there
  • That damned Finale, trust me, it's a blessing-turned-curse situation
  • That damned training regime, I need to breathe damnit!
  • The juniors future, I don't want to leave them dead
  • I'm an arse, quite the selfish arse I am
  • Pondering on the future, self-explanatory
  • Mid-teen crisis' (?), maybe there is such a thing
  • Sleepless nights, don't know the cause of this
  • Hectic life at school, get's even worse
  • No time, when the heck am I to do my personal stuff?
  • Lot's of stuff left to do, stuff to do in class 
  • People getting emotional on me for my problems, who the shit are you to judge me?
  • Feel worst for being the crap I am, self-explanatory
  • Keeps thinking of an unsolvable problem, it's unsolvable nuff said
  • Staying at the same spot, when the hell am I going to move on?
  • Coping with stress, that itself is stressful
Frankly speaking, I'm surprised to see all these. I thought I'd barely had problems. Seriously, if I'm ever going to improve in anyway, I'm guessing all of this have to go away but the question of 'how' would pop out and makes the conditions worse. It's just something that you can't wipe off in a single day. Oh God, please give me the solution(s) for this. Amin..

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Mencalit Arang di Muka Sendiri!

Almost became my DP on FB
Never accept dares and challenges that could kill you =P

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Sharpshooter!



Lately, I'm just lazy, or not in the mood, to type and crap up long posts so let the pictures do their work. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words right?

So, here goes.

Want that peripheral =(
Geeky, but sweet!

Best of the best =)

Just don't!

I've already knew and studied stuff, so, the conclusion was


NEVER, EVER PUSH YOURSELVES


 Makes your lives worse and destroys almost everything in life


Thank you

Monday 6 June 2011

Supposed to be 'the' great day, but hey, it was okay

Sunday 5 June 2011

Books!

Reading this currently.

Thursday 2 June 2011

Smile!

Smiling like these random green smiling balls
Can I?
Fact!

Cute kittie!

The guidelines! =P

Makes you look perfect

In desperate times =P
Last but not least!

Wednesday 1 June 2011

The State of Mind!

Control the mind. When you control it, you control everything. And it affects the things around you. For instance :-

My locker, when I'm fully tensed with exams and crap

My locker, again, when I'm at serenity NOT serenti =P
And as a bonus, senang nak study!

Conclusion: Treat your mind, don't let your surroundings get you and kill you from the inside. Thus, hypothesis is accepted.

Monday 30 May 2011

Nothing left.

Honestly, in my brain, there's nothing left to tell out here on this blog. A few points maybe? But nonetheless I'm sleepy. I'll put more fancy pics up later on. I'm off to FB and/or gaming after this

Sunday 1 May 2011

The Console =)

The hot, smoking piece of equipment in my house. And hot smoking piece of games that I own. All thanks to Me, Syazli Adam(lil' annoying brother) and Daddy and Mommy =)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The old, lame, dusty Playsation 2

Packing it =)

Finally, decommissioned =D

Behold!

Behold! Again!

The legendary device, unboxed!

With two Killzone themed Sackboy figures =D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who couldn't resist all these?

Saturday 30 April 2011

The Moment!

After all these years, after all the effort, at last, I've achieved lift off! Well, not really, actually I've just achieved in getting my very own awesome Sony PlayStation 3.

Yep, I had this hankering feeling since 2008. Yeah, you didn't read wrong. Quite a long time huh? So, today, on this very date, I will get 'the' PlayStation 3. I'll love it, and be loyal to it.



BUT, there is somebody I'm most loyal at =) You know who you are. Oh yeah, I love you more that anything else in the world combined kay. Don't worry, be happy, smile! Because when you smile, the world stops and stare for a while. Cause you're amazing, just the way you are =)

ILY!

Arrived Home!

This time it's gonna be my holidays!

Upcoming this holidays are

1- PlayStation 3
2- Killzone 3
3- Crysis 2
4- Ultimate sleeping
5- Dedication posts =)
6- Minor ultimate BOREDOM!
7- Sad part =(
8- Back to school =( =(

So yeah, tell me if I missed anything out kay!

'Till then!

Sunday 20 March 2011

Interlude!

Well, after a while, I really needed to try an express this feeling in such a way, that isn't really cool but it should be great. So here goes nothing.

The legend of Excalibur, a deep story, unfathomable by many, binds with a drop of pure Vasilios, the royal blood, able to cure even the darkest curse, forms an unbreakable bond creating an unstoppable power, feared even mountains tremble in cold fear.


Well, that's good for starters. Expect a sequel to come =)

'Till next time

Saturday 19 March 2011

Literacy!

Having some time to relax and write a few stories is probably a good way to just have some fun.

It's gonna be EPIC!

Tuesday 15 March 2011

It's all about the hormones!

Feeling sick? Nausea? Migraine? Blurry visions? Blackouts? Well, never fear. Just blame your brain for it, heh.

Ehem, well I'm pretty much off the edge for this week. Tensed like hell, I can't even remember important dates currently. Let me list off what bugs me, just for the sake of clearing my mind not for sympathy, although that could be a bonus to it.

  • The PS2 trashed
  • Not getting a PS3 yet even though it's been 3 months
  • My camera's broken
  • Tons of HW to do
  • Need to memorize my music sheet
  • Helping out a friend on love probs that I couldn't really help
  • Sleep disorders
  • DAMNED SLOW FB!
  • Missing someone loved
  • And tons of quite small probs that combine to form a huge one
I don't blame all this for the knots in my head. I purely blame my hormones for overproducing thus crashing my processing systems. Heh, and I really can't thank 'her' enough for keeping me company during my lonely hours. And I hope I don't go bonkers from all this mishaps.
'Till then!

Sunday 13 March 2011

It's never too late!


Yeah, as the title says.

I know I messed up your day, I know I've crapped up everything, I know you were waiting for this day, I know I ruined everything, I know you got mad at me, I know I cried, I know I've felt guilty, I know that I'm a total jerk, and I know we've apologized to each other.

But at the end of the day, nothing could break our relationship apart!


I need you and I can't live without you.
ILYF

Friday 11 March 2011

Touchdown!

Home run! Sampai rumah finally. And i can't wait for this Sunday!


!!!YAY!!!

Friday 4 February 2011

Hobby Time!!!!

It's been a while and its been so long that the keyboard ( and the blog) has become dusty already..

Okay, now let's have a topic about hobbies. Well, I like music and I'm passionate about it. My friends are too, like Rifqi, Afi, Faiq and some. Honestly, I don't really know what I'm typing here. So, let's just end it.

Btw, to my closest friends, there will be a surprise here, BUT it's gonna take long sorry...